You Can Get a Referral From Cold Connections – The Right Way to Ask

Hey 👋

Most PMs make this mistake:

They see someone working at their dream company, hit Connect, and immediately ask for a referral.

No context. No connection. No credibility.

And then they wonder why no one replies.

Here’s how to actually convert a connection into a referral — without sounding desperate or entitled.

Step 1: Connect with the right people

Don’t just connect with anyone from the company. You want someone:

• Who works in the same or adjacent team as the job you’re applying to

• Who has previously posted about hiring or giving referrals

• Who’s active on the platform (they’ve posted recently, liked, commented, or updated their profile)

Otherwise, you’re just shooting in the dark. If they haven’t logged in for months, no wonder they don’t reply.

Step 2: Start with appreciation

Humans are wired to respond to warmth and appreciation.

Open with something you genuinely admire — a post, a career move, a product they’ve shipped. Make it personal.

Example:
“Hey Samantha, I really liked your post about transitioning from consulting to PM at Google. I’m on a similar path, and it was super helpful!”

Step 3: Establish credibility

Think of referrals as trust transfers.

If they refer you, their reputation is on the line.

So you need to show them you’re not just another resume-dropper. Mention:

• Relevant experience

• Key achievements

• Something unique that makes you a strong fit

Example:
“I’ve been a PM at an edtech startup for 3 years, launched 5 features end-to-end, and I’m passionate about building products that improve learner outcomes.”

Step 4: Make the ask simple

Don’t ask for time.

Don’t ask for a call.

Don’t send them your entire resume.

Just share the job link and ask if they’d be open to referring you.

Example:
“If you're open to referring, here’s the job I’m targeting: [Link]. Happy to share anything else that would help you decide.”

Let’s compare:

Bad message 1:
“Hi, I’m looking for a referral. Can you help me?”

Why it fails: Too vague. No context. No reason to care.

Bad message 2:
“Hey! I’m applying for a PM role at your company. Can we hop on a call? Would love to chat and get some insights.”

Why it fails: Time ask is too much. You haven’t earned their attention yet.

Good message:
“Hi David, I saw your recent post on building AI features at Uber — fascinating stuff! I’ve been working on similar experiments at my current role.
I’m targeting this PM role at Swiggy ([link]) and would be grateful if you’d consider referring me.
Happy to share a short note or proof of work if needed. Thanks!”

Final Tip:
Even if someone doesn’t reply or says no — don’t take it personally. This isn’t about one person. It’s about building a network of people who want to help you.

Referrals are not transactional. They’re built on relevance, trust, and empathy.

Don’t just aim to get referred. Aim to be preferable

P.S. If you want early access to PM jobs (before they go live on the big boards), check out Best PM Jobs. It gives you a real edge.

If you have any questions, reply to this email and I will be happy to help.

Wishing you a week filled with positive updates for your job.

I will see you next week.

All the Best

Aditi